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Inspiring Writings by Kallicalico

Literature by PippinFox

beauty in brevity 2 by cristinewakesuphappy


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Submitted on
October 18, 2012
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i),

The first time I met the girl who started a revolution the sky was throwing down so much rain it felt like we were underwater. It was hard to breathe; and maybe that was because of all the rain, but probably it was because I looked at her face, under this dark red hood, and inside I was a story with all these feelings I could never say. I guess those feelings could only ever become words on paper - words in ink - not the kind I could ever speak aloud to anybody, if only because I couldn't bear for a person to see the look on my face while I remembered. Despite how good it felt - so hopeful, so desperately happy for what it was and could become - at the same time it was drowning in this sea, like the sky that day, for the way that everything else wasn't. And I said, what's your name?

At first we called her August when I brought her back to Jack's flat, which his parents paid for mostly, and which we used for getting high, mostly. She curled up in the armchair and rarely left it from there. Jack said hi and she said, hi, and we spoke until her smile was the only light in the room.

August seemed more intricate then than she does now; maybe because she was a step ahead of me somehow, in the way she saw her world - knowing already how to speak the words I always felt were trapped inside me, as emotions I couldn't match to language.

That first night I remember a snatch of conversation that struck me. Even then I thought it would be something I would not forget; not for a life-changing reason, not even a faintly important one; for some reason it triggered a light feeling in my stomach, something that reminded me of my earliest memories.

I used to wake up early in the mornings and look out my window at the sun rising. It was a huge ball of orange, and I had this thought that the sun was crawling, half-asleep, up the side of the world to get into the sky. In winter, when there was dozens of water droplets cooled on the glass, I would hold up my hands to watch the light go through the condensation and turn them dappled gold. Just doing that gave me this shiver, some kind of shaking emotion, like falling backwards standing up.

It's the kind of thing that goes without words or telling anybody, but I could try and tell you: it was as simple as peace.

That feeling was rare back then, but when I met August, it was something that was only nostalgia. That first night, she brought it back to me - even as she was a girl that was anything but simple – in this memory, this conversation.

It was nearly the end of the night we stayed up together. Our thoughts were slurred with sleep and smoke, and Jack was saying, Everybody says things at me. Not with me, but at me. You know?

And I said, huh?

He went on, I don't get where people are coming from anymore. Who anybody is.

August said, I think we get too wrapped up in saying 'look at me, and who I am.' Nobody ever says, just, 'listen. Do you ever feel like me?'

Jack laughed, looking all bleary-eyed, and said yeah, yeah, that's what I mean. It's all what and no why.

I said, maybe people don't care about the whys.

And August said, when you're a kid you always care why. You have to explain why you didn't do your homework, why you're late home, why you don't just do like your mother tells you. Then you get to being a teenager, and suddenly it's all about how nobody else understands why. By the time we grow up it's been twenty years or more and everybody stopped having the time to listen to why.

She paused for a second, and then she said: it's like a race to recite our dreams and opinions out loud before somebody else does. Maybe after all this time, people forget why altogether.

When August said that, I thought of childhood, of the dull clementine sun and my gilded palms, and I remembered how to feel peace again. Peace of a kind that makes you live for the present, knowing the future is coming and that it's not so frightening anymore, no matter what comes with it. It was to do with finding things that give us hope - not as needy as desire; not as innocent as prayer – and August gave me hope for a lot of things, from the second I looked under that dark red hood.

I think that's where a story started.
so this is actually the beginning of my story, but it stands alone also.

i'd appreciate any thoughts :heart:
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Daily Deviation

Given 2012-11-09
i) Wanderlust by ~whatpumpkins Suggester Writes: A truly engaging piece by a budding young writer, whose words capture and produce a glimpse of the human essence. ( Suggested by UnspecifiedUnknown and Featured by BeccaJS )
:icontheshadykid:
theshadykid Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
each time I read this, I could swear that the first line is; "the first time i met the girl who started a revolution in the sky.." I know that it isn't and that line wouldn't work, but my brain is insistent upon it... its such a beautiful piece, I could read it again and again, you're very talented :)
Reply
:iconoracle-of-nonsense:
oracle-of-nonsense Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013  Student Writer
So glad you linked this in the second piece. There are some wonderful insights here.
Reply
:iconwhatpumpkins:
whatpumpkins Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013   Writer
ah, thank you so much for going out of your way to read it :heart:
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:iconkaitforest:
KaitForest Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2012   Writer
this is very beautiful, i love those descriptions <3
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:iconwhatpumpkins:
whatpumpkins Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2012   Writer
thank you very much! :heart:
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:iconlijington:
Lijington Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2012
I admire the way you write...its very captivating
Reply
:iconwhatpumpkins:
whatpumpkins Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2012   Writer
thank you, i appreciate it :heart:
Reply
:iconstyxthedrummer:
styxthedrummer Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I was just thinking.. .this could also be the end of a story.
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:iconwhatpumpkins:
whatpumpkins Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2012   Writer
you have no idea how right you are... :noes:
Reply
:iconbubblemoth:
bubblemoth Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2012  Student Writer
jen omfg you are a perfect human being this is wonderful
id fave it but then juice'd find it KNOW THAT IT'S BOOKMARKED AND FAVOURITED IN MY HEART
Reply
:iconwhatpumpkins:
whatpumpkins Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2012   Writer
you're perfect
but thank you bub :heart:
Reply
:iconbubblemoth:
bubblemoth Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2012  Student Writer
u
also welcome :heart:
Reply
:iconfanaticalpublishing:
FanaticalPublishing Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2012
Wow, lovely work.

If you still want to publish with me, read my guidelines: [link]
Reply
:iconwhatpumpkins:
whatpumpkins Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2012   Writer
i'll send you an email tonight, thank you :heart:
Reply
:iconfanaticalpublishing:
FanaticalPublishing Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2012
Oh no, thank you.
Reply
:iconleyghan:
leyghan Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Beautifully written. The kind of writing that resonates. Congrats on the well-deserved DD!
Reply
:iconwhatpumpkins:
whatpumpkins Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2012   Writer
thank you very much; it was a wonderful thing to happen to me :heart:
Reply
:iconvainamoinenian:
Vainamoinenian Featured By Owner Nov 9, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
This was lovely! I especially liked the mellow, calm and maybe even lazy pace of the story, it kinda warms my heart :)
Reply
:iconwhatpumpkins:
whatpumpkins Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2012   Writer
what a lovely thing to say. thank you :heart:
Reply
:iconleap-of-faythe:
Leap-of-Faythe Featured By Owner Nov 9, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
This story really had an impact on me. I love the way you wrote this, and the ending especially was very profound. Congratulations on the DD; you deserve it! :heart:
Reply
:iconwhatpumpkins:
whatpumpkins Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2012   Writer
i popped up in the right place at the right time i guess, there are many pieces and people who deserve it more than this; but thank you :heart:
Reply
:iconleap-of-faythe:
Leap-of-Faythe Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
There are many people who deserve DDs, that's true, but I do believe you are one of them. ;) :heart: And you're more than welcome.
Reply
:iconthirdim3nsion:
thirdim3nsion Featured By Owner Nov 9, 2012
it's like a race to recite our dreams and opinions out loud before somebody else does.

this line resonated with me; it's what i observe in the culture, the deeper root of the problem being selfishness. anyway, i could write a really long response that might turn into a rant when all i really meant to do is complement this piece. nice job.
Reply
:iconwhatpumpkins:
whatpumpkins Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2012   Writer
on selfishness, i couldn't agree more; and i'm glad to find a person who agrees. true selflessness is almost an impossibility these days, it seems, but i can't help but devote myself to finding it in people.

i appreciate both rants and long reads. thank you for sharing your thoughts, i appreciate it :heart:
Reply
:iconthirdim3nsion:
thirdim3nsion Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2012
you're welcome. i'm glad we were able to connect on some common ground. i'll be sure to leave you a long read next time.
Reply
:iconevranawolfsong:
EvranaWolfsong Featured By Owner Nov 9, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
My gosh.

I never thought of it that way, how maybe the whys that little kids ask maybe aren't so bad, and that maybe we've lost something in shutting our own whys out . . .

Thank you, this was a truly beautiful read.
Reply
:iconwhatpumpkins:
whatpumpkins Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2012   Writer
i'm so glad you can think it now. thank you :heart:
Reply
:iconslovenia1939:
slovenia1939 Featured By Owner Nov 9, 2012
Just wow. That was a beautiful story, and the way you developed the characters is amazing. It's kinda coincidential because I was thinking on relatively the same level as these characters a bit ago. But I'd like to know what the story's plot is.
Reply
:iconwhatpumpkins:
whatpumpkins Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2012   Writer
thank you :heart:

i'm glad to see someone identify with my thoughts. i guess at first i was disheartened by it and the world being that way, but later, especially when i wrote this, i felt that when you do find rare people that care about 'the whys', it is all the more defining for it.

the plot is not something to be summed up, or explained, i feel; but here is a dramatic effort.

four friends struggle to save a brother and accidentally inspire thousands on a journey that brings them together and apart.

it is difficult to say any more than that, but i'm writing it at the moment and it will be uploaded to deviantart as i do; so check back if you like :heart:
Reply
:iconanawkwardblue:
AnAwkwardBlue Featured By Owner Nov 9, 2012
I like the slow sleepiness and message of this story. Congrats on the DD!
Reply
:iconwhatpumpkins:
whatpumpkins Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2012   Writer
sleepy; i like that description. it's my thoughts in a nutshell. thank you :heart:
Reply
:iconangel-knight-22:
Angel-Knight-22 Featured By Owner Nov 9, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Beautiful :) Touched my heart. You're a great writer! I can imagine everything...
Reply
:iconwhatpumpkins:
whatpumpkins Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2012   Writer
and i'm touched that it did so. thank you :heart:
Reply
:iconhappyhorseshoe303:
happyhorseshoe303 Featured By Owner Nov 9, 2012
this... makes way too much sense. about the whats and the whys. nobody listens, anymore. but this is beautiful.
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:iconwhatpumpkins:
whatpumpkins Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2012   Writer
i am so glad you can see it. i'd like to know you :heart:
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:iconhappyhorseshoe303:
happyhorseshoe303 Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2012
i'd like to know you too! except that sounds really creepy. but i'm just going to take that as an indicator that you think i would be an interesting person to know!
Reply
:iconwhatpumpkins:
whatpumpkins Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2012   Writer
:noes: sounded like a creeper :noes:

yes, that is definitely what i meant. this is almost as awkward as that one time insert memory here that just happened
Reply
:iconhappyhorseshoe303:
happyhorseshoe303 Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2012
LOL! i wish dA had an 'edit post' button like facebook or tumblr, sometimes. i mean, i would never use it that often, but if i made a spelling/grammar error i like fixing it...
Reply
:iconwhatpumpkins:
whatpumpkins Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2012   Writer
yes! except without the part on facebook where it lets any normal nosy person see what the edit actually was, and call you out on it anyway.

or maybe that's just my evil friends... :shakefist:
Reply
:iconhappyhorseshoe303:
happyhorseshoe303 Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2012
RAAAAAWWWWWWRRRRRRRR NOSY EVIL FRIENDS
Reply
:iconstyxthedrummer:
styxthedrummer Featured By Owner Nov 9, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I love it.
Reply
:iconwhatpumpkins:
whatpumpkins Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2012   Writer
i love you

:heart:
Reply
:iconanimafelis:
ANIMAfelis Featured By Owner Nov 9, 2012  Professional General Artist
This is nice. Now I wanna know the story that started with it...
Reply
:iconwhatpumpkins:
whatpumpkins Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2012   Writer
thank you.

if you are interested, i am writing the rest of the story at the moment and will continue to post it on my deviantart; so check back if you like :heart:
Reply
:iconanimafelis:
ANIMAfelis Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2012  Professional General Artist
Well dear, I'm looking forward to it. I'll be on the lookout! ;)
Reply
:iconmemento-mori-96:
Memento-Mori-96 Featured By Owner Nov 9, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
interesting writing style. i like the long sentences with all those comma ^^ they create a special kind of mood, i cannot really describe (cuz' my english is too bad xD) but i can imagine the situation and the fellings of the narrator. love it!!!
good job an congratulation to dd.
is their a special reason why the name is german?
Reply
:iconwhatpumpkins:
whatpumpkins Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2012   Writer
i appreciate that you took the time to read this in a language that is not your own, and thank you for your comments :heart:

which name do you mean; the title, wanderlust, or a name of a character (august)?
Reply
:iconmemento-mori-96:
Memento-Mori-96 Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
np. your work is just great ^^

i meant the title. i was just confused because it's in german and i still don't know, how story and title fit together ^^
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:iconwhatpumpkins:
whatpumpkins Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2012   Writer
in english, wanderlust means a strong desire to explore the world. this story is only a small part of a novel i am writing, which is about these characters travelling, so the basic meaning of the word is a little lost in this excerpt; but i guess that i use 'wanderlust' to try and express a strong desire to explore people, too.

i hope that isn't confusing, i find it difficult to explain :c
Reply
:iconmemento-mori-96:
Memento-Mori-96 Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
ah, ok. i understand. so it has the same meaning as well as in germany ^^ then the title couldn't be better ;) (do english speaking people really use the word this way? wow, i had never expect something like that)
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